Working Girl

Now i am no Melanie Griffith, mainly because this isn't the 1988 classic film, this is my life. Rather than climbing the social and political standings of the stock market i am ready and equip to learn first hand what is like to own your own business. What i have learned in the first few days:

• Be in the know of all the latest "celeb" gossip (i.e. who's going to win American Idol, Did Jessica Simpson and John Mayer split?, what will happen tonight on Lost)
• Pretend like you understand every situation co-workers have been in (i.e. "oh yeah i can totally relate to your child support struggle with your cheating bitch of an ex husband....NOT!)
• Master the art of folding papers hot dog style in thirds
• Avoid paper cuts from the above task
• Swear like a sailor! (Apparently your vocabulary only gets raunchier with age!)
• Dress ridiculously trendy to ensure maximum compliment level each day

By remembering all of this you should be able to make it on your own in the business world, or at least manage yourself at the communal coffee pot!