Faking a smile

Is there a happy medium between overly confident and entirely self consious? Which is the better route to take? The other day i was talking to a friend of mine about relationships and he said that the thing that i am missing is confidence. Confidence is sexy. Well obviously, the past five years of my life could tell you that that is what i have been missing, but was it that easy? I have been trying to build up confidence and feel comfortable in the skin that i am in. However I feel that i may have crossed a line. I may have become too confident and developed some sort of God-like complex that makes me untouchable to mere mortals. Now i dont know alot about confidence but that sounds like waaay too much of it. So it made me wonder if my confidence or lack there of levels are soo extreme why is it that i cannot find a medium. Because either way i am just faking another smile to hide what i really feel right?

I'm sorry that I'm not (to whom it may concern)

I was listening to the hit dixie chicks song and it hit me. I have nothing to apologize for. I have no regrets. If I was given the opportunity to go back in time I wouldn't change a thing. So to all of you who think I made the wrong decision or to all of you who think I should be sorry I am not. Forgive sounds good. Forget I'm not sure I could. They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting...

Matinee must be French for Magical

So today i was oozing with anticipation. I got all dalled up for what else, my grandmothers birthday outing to see the Sunday matinee of The Great Gatsby at the new Guthrey theatre. Oh my! I was speechless. It was a beautiful array of blue *some sort of material that buildings are made out of* and filled with smiling faces. Some stranger commented about my adorable outfit, that pretty much made my day! So we roam around until the sweet sound of the 5 minute bell rings. My heart was racing now I couldn't believe it. One of my all time favorite books brought to life in front of my eyes. We sat in our not so comfortable seats, but a small price to pay for the moving and inspirational story by the one and only F. Scott. I loved it I loved it all! The cool air conditioning, the ridiculously overused diction by the characters, and of coarse the $5 brownies that were clearly store boughten. But no it was great, just don't spread around how much i liked it, i don't want to ruin my street cred.

Time makes the heart grow founder my a**!

Okay so I am saying this in no way to offend the dear friend of mine who took my senior pictures because he is an incredible photographer and constantly swamped up the wazoo. But it was been a solid 5 days and nothing. Not even a single negative. I am freaking out all the is running through my mind is that he has literally nothing to work with. You know how most people have a few bad pictures, a sneeze, eyes close, akward smile. Well all that I can think of is that EVERY single one of mine is one of those pictures. Oh man! So please photographer I know that you are busy but save me from my own insanity. Thank you.

To whom it may concern

Just when i thought i was over it, thought i could move on Andrew Jackson gets involved and my heart starts to race again.

Everything that is irrating about the world is located at Abercrombie & Fitch!

Ahh i hate it there! I was helping my friend pick out some back to school clothes, you know i cute sweatshirt for 75 dollars, and a practical cami for 30. We walk into a cologne filled techno world when a very friendly gay man named steve greeted us. Why hello Steve do you have and dignity? Hmm we might have some in the back let me go check he replies. As we brose my medium sized friend decieded on an angora cable-knit sweater*thanks muffin!* but unfortunately EVERY single sweater was a size SMALL. Literally every single one! Now sure that is my size so i had plenty of options but that doesn't justify. But seriously the thing that really ticked me off were their advertisments. All the walls were filled with 8 by 10 foot posters of half naked men and women. One picture was a guy with LITERALLY no clothes. I'm sorry call me old fashioned but i just think that an ad for a clothing store should well promote the clothing. I'm disgusted I need to go take a shower. ps-the entire time we were there they were playing a techno version of Paris Hilton's new single...enough said.

I've been single for WAY too long!

I turn on the computer and the first thing that catches my eye is an ad for match.com...thats sad

Why it needs to be fall/winter NOW!

Okay so I LOVE clothes! I have waaay to many and i just am obsessed with fashion! To a point where its almost embarassing like I would rather stay home watching fashion police on the style network than go out with friends...but anyways I am soo over summer fashion because I literally can't think of anything else to where. I woke up this morning and threw together what was the worst outfit http://images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/390/243030.jpgI have ever worn! I wore a shirt I got two years ago from my grandma, which is not only ugly and too small it manages to highlight my hitious man shoulders(thats hot?! right?) I wore them with what could have been my adorable JCrew white pants, except I decieded that the outfit needed someting, something to tie it all together. The shell ring belt that my mom gave me that I have only wore once to make her feel good because it is sooo UGLY! So I want to take the time to apologize to my fashion icons: Jackie O, Ralph Lauren, Oscar de la Renta, Zac Posen, Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel, Narsico Rodriguez, Karl Lagerfield, and so many more. I hope that someday I can redeam myself from this terrible fashion faux paux*

Isn't It Ironic?

So i just got back from church today, a place where the central focus should be about worshiping God and finding internal clarity. Instead the Bibles at the church bookstore were 30% off, the family in front of us tried to budge into the communion line, and my mother complained to me that she was jipped on the amount of bread she was given for communion. Classic.

I'm sorry who are you again?

Okay so Mr. Mace as some of you may know is a simple mathmatician by day, somewhat of a boring character. Don't be fooled...Today at practice Mr. Mace offered up his ipod for some music while we swim. We said yes, anything beats this dreadful silence for another 2 and a half hours. But to my surprise we jammed out to a playlist of the classics. I'm talking Journey, White Snake, Boston, Def Leppord, and Poison. That's right Mr. Mace is a rockin' dude and don't you forget it!

So here's the skinny

Okay so if you hadn't noticed or if you live in some sort of cave you would have noticed that skinny jeans are all the rave and seriously they do not look good on ANYONE! I was shopping by myself...sounds sad but actually i love to do it! I tried on a total of 3 pairs of skinny jeans thinking that atleast one would work but no they all made me look ridiculous like a giant triangle! ahh so here is a forewarning to all you gals out there (if you are a guy looking at skinny jeans we have a whole different situation on our hands!) just avoid all skinny jeans until this horrible trend passes...that is all.

The only thing in life that is constant is change...

Ah so it is inevitably saying goodbye to last years seniors season and i hate it! i absolutely hate it i hate everything about goodbyes i hate the crying and the wallowing i hate the thought that although is not true and very impractical that i potentially could never see that person again. All i want is everything to stay the same, I like these people for who they are now they dont need to grow and develope its overrated oh man i am crying just thinking about all the goodbyes thats it i am done i am avoiding all goodbyes and never getting close to anyone ever again...it makes sense trust me!

So I think I'll go to Boston...

Well this is me saying goodbye...don't worry it is merely temporary i will return promptly on the 13th it will be like I never left! I am off to bean town to visit the infamous 21 year old brother oh boy! For the first to nights i will be rooming with him animal house style in his apartment..i know gross! But don't fret after that the Moodie's are off to the Cape so that i can fulfill my destiny to become the next Jackie O. *my idol!* as i bask in the sun my mind will be filled with pleasent thoughts like school starting again, all the things i need to do for the upcoming swim season, and the inevitable college descion whoopi right?! well au fedusin (that cute thing that Hedi Klum says on Project Runway) until the 13th!

Ah Uptown Art Fair...so refreshing!

So i just got back from a fun filled day at the fair, the art fair not that disgusting flea infested deep fried non represented "state" fair, the better of the two! So a day in uptown with barb and tim, the parents, consists of finding the cheapest parking, buying waay to much food and then complaining about the outlandish costs (lemonade-$6.50, corn dog-$3, beer-$4,but a day with there adorable daughter...priceless!) Followed by their incredible lack of understanding of modern art. Thats art?! I could do that are you kidding you honestly want 300 dollars for that?! C'mon mom like go your embarassing me I don't want them to know we are cheap! Then the exhausting trek back to the car were we reflect on the day: "There were quite an array of pieces. Yes yes very unique and beutiful. What did you think Colleen? Priceless!"

Nobody puts Baby in a Corner

Okay so there is this new Colleen in town and her arrival is all that i can talk about! What if everyone likes new Colleen better? She is better than me at everything! What if everyone forgets about the old Colleen? She's hotter than I am! What if she is the new me? But then it hit me...well it came to me in the form of a text message rather, but not just any text message a text message from the hottest boy in the class of 2006...Stuart Cambell! Not only does Stuart miss me but he wants to see me, old boring lame-o Colleen, so news flash new Colleen this senorita has still got it!

Thank you E!News, ET, Access Hollywood, ect

Okay so you know how the normal lame-o news is on like every ten minutes all day everyday. Just to tell you the most depressing stuff ever. "Another ten people died today in Iraq, First puppy found with testicular cancer, if you eat any form of mcdonalds in your lifetime you will die soon" That just puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. So i was thinking what if instead of watching regular news EVERYONE watched celebrity news. You know Entertainment Tonight, E! News, Access Hollywood, bringing you all the important news and gossip. Because lets face it a possible third world war vs. a new found feud between Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie...no question!

Dear Mr. Disney...Screw you!

Okay so everyone know that Walt Disney has brought us family fun classics like The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, and Cinderella (*my personal favorites!*) But what we dont realize is the terrible impression that these films have made on our generation. With perfect happily ever after endings and Prince Charming coming to wisk you off your feet onto his noble steed the common realities of a modern day relationship are completely lost. Most girls are stuck in this fantasy world, feeling incomplete without their princes and are faced with the harsh realities that males these days are more likely to bring you along to some house party than properly court you and a romantic date. So because I am stuck here waiting for my prince charming to come along and fit his glass slipper on my perficly pedicured foot and then all of my problems will be swept away I saw screw you Walt Disney for leavin an entire generation with an overwhelming amount of false hope!