Prognosis: Home Sickness

Although my head is not spinning, i don't feel all that nausous and i can breath clearly through both nostrils i am in fact very very sick. Homesick. Home sickness is a disease that possesses the body, over-powers it to a point of emotional and physical breakdown. Although i am pretty certain that i love it here at college i am still questioning every move i make. Am i making the right choice? Is this really the right path for me? If i take this class what major will i fall into and see myself working under in 5 to 10 years? These question are stressful. They make you feel small. They make you feel stupid. They make you miss your home where the toughest question you dealt with was whether or not you wanted your mommy to put cut up hot dogs in your macaroni and cheese. I am quite certain that i am that girl who thinks too much. I over-analyze every single aspect of my life, and i always have. Sometimes this process can be a good thing, like when i was considering buying that oversized peach organza sweater or debating the rationality to have a crush on both Johnny Depp and James Franco. However the downfall of this process comes when i over-analyze regular situations that to the outside world are just fine. Friendships that make total sense to others seem odd to me. Getting close to someone scares rather than excites me. Meeting new people makes me feel as though i am wearing a mask and i am too afraid to show them the real me in fear of their rejection even though i have shared conversations with them that vary in intellectual level from the war in Iraq to pooping. I hope someday to get past this anxiety, to let my guard down and to trust people again. I also hope that this homesickness doesn't turn into real sickness because i don't have my McMommy to nurse me back to health. Yes I did just give my mother a cutsie Grey's Anatomy nickname and now feel strange about putting her on the same level as the very sexy Patrick Demsey. I think im going to go play around in my medicine drawer and try and self medicate this thing out of me. (And by medicine drawer I mean half empty box of cheez-its and homemade brownies) Seriously.